Free Candy

Old Maid

dcdan — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 01:55:40 +0000

I am a 31 year old, single young lady in D.C. SCARY….. if you live in Syracuse…..

My mother proceeded to tell me that she has finally started working with a financial planner. Great idea, for my parents… my dad will work until he is dead.

She decided to budget for my two younger sister’s weddings, one is 23 and the other is 24. When hearing this, the financial planner asks about the older daughter, me… In response, she says, I plan to save for the other two, don’t worry about her. She is independent and irrelevant.

Her excuse for this decision is that I feel very strongly that its not 1950 and no man will provide for you… aka there is no dowry. But still, wtf.

Life lesson: Marry an unemployed loser at the age of 23. Birth a baby you can’t afford, drive your car into a ditch as a stoner: LIVE HAPPILY EVER NEVER.

The Roots are Awesome

dcdan — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 00:47:34 +0000

Seeing as Fishbone is my religion I think it is great that The Roots played “Lyin’ Ass Bitch” by Fishbone (original) To introduce Michele Bachmann enjoy.

Facial Paralysis

dcdan — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 12:43:02 +0000

“See ten years disappear with a stroke.” Is the tag line for an ad campaign being run by Loreal. When I heard it my first thought was losing ten years of your life to rehabilitation after suffering a paralyzing stroke.

Silly Baseball Players

dcdan — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 22:37:44 +0000

Watching the World Series I noticed many players wear titanium braided necklaces. These are pretty silly necklaces that supposedly increase blood flow. Of course these are completely silly and players should be mocked for wearing them. Though at the end of the day these aren’t much sillier than people wearing crosses.

When Are You Going to Start a Family?

dcdan — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 21:05:15 +0000

A lot of my friends are having children right now and they often ask, “When are you going to start a family?”
My response, “When did you start regretting your decision not to terminate the pregnancy?”

Teaching both Evolution and Creationism

dcdan — Wed, 31 Aug 2011 19:02:25 +0000

The religious faction in the US says we should teach both evolution and creationism and that the kids should decide for themselves. Let us set aside for a minute that kids don’t make the best decisions.
This is how is should be explained.
Evolution is a theory proposed by Charles Darwin about how species evolved, it is supported by a vast amount of scientific evidence.
Creationism is based on a book written by authors who thought the Earth was only a few thousand years old, that the universe revolves around the Earth, that two of all of the animals on the planet at one point all fit on a boat and that there is a being in the sky who knows everything and judges people upon death.

God’s Database

dcdan — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 16:30:38 +0000

As a child I was told that God kept a record of all of your good deeds and sins. As a software developer I find this an interesting as that means God has a very large database. I wonder what technologies he uses? Sadly the Bible doesn’t seem to include any direction on the most heavenly methodology for optimization of large sets of data.

Run the Country Like a Business

dcdan — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 18:44:03 +0000

I often hear conservatives say “We should run the country like a business.” Would the president have the power like a CEO to get rid of the bottom five performing states every year. Here are the federal tax allotments by state. New Mexico and Mississippi I’m looking at you.

MTV Won’t Play Kanye West’s New Video

dcdan — Sat, 23 Jul 2011 17:20:50 +0000

I read that MTV won’t play Kanye West’s new video. My first thought was not the content of the video, it was MTV plays videos?

Enjoy

Real Google+ Circles

dcdan — Wed, 20 Jul 2011 02:09:46 +0000

There have been posts about what circles you need for Google+. Here is my list of circles.